first son: He looks awful. Take him to the vet!
me: I can't take him to the vet. You know how much he hates cars. Last year I did go to the vet and brought home Frontline which cost more than $20 for one month. The results:
- Leo hated it.
- He immediately began licking it off which means he probably ingested way more than got to any ticks or fleas.
- It didn't help much.
I guess it is fine for people who live in town or places where the land is being tilled, etc. Here it seems about as useful as an eye dropper to irrigate the desert. Still I applied it as directed for three months. After that, Leo not only knew what the little tube was but he could smell it when I clipped the top. And he was having none of it anymore.
first son: So get some guineas?
Enter craigslist: gu - gun, no. gun - guns, no. guin - guinea...guineas, yes!
I want to buy 6 to 10 of your baby guineas. I live in the woods and the ticks and fleas are about to eat my cat up. It is only a matter of time until they come after me. I have been to Summertown but its been a long time. However, I'm sure I can find your place if you e-mail me either directions or an address.
phone (different seller)
ring, ring, ring......ring, ring, ring. Leave message...."Ricky, leave message."
Hello Ricky, this is David Oliver. I'm calling about the baby guineas. Sorry I can't remember my cell phone
number. I think the only people who have it are solicitors (thank you Verizon), who want to sell me everything except guineas. I prefer email. My address is blah, blah, blah.
My new tactic is this: The pity email and we'll see how it works.
Dear Guinea Keeper,
My cat looks like he's just went through the barber line at an army induction center. He got the barber with the missing teeth both in his mouth and the clippers. I'm sure I'll be next. It will be hard to tell us apart fur wise. Both Leo (my cat) and I have agreed to sacrifice in order to pay a premium for the guineas. Leo is going to do without his yummy canned cat food. I've agreed to stop renting x...oops, PG rated films. I believe you can look far and wide and not find anyone more deserving of these rare birds than yours truly.
If that doesn't work, I'll try this:
Dear Guinea Possessor,
My wealthy uncle has repented. Having gained all his wealth by killing every living thing on his farm to sell the coal off of it, the guilt over his part in global warming has overwhelmed him. He's decided to give all his wealth to the poor - me - and take up his cross and follow Jesus. I would like to follow suit but I still have wild oats in my bag. Yes I'm 65 and I need to get busy sowing but in my defense it was a big bag. Anyway, what I'm wanting right now is a tree house and a mob of guineas. I'm still looking for the Wood Elves about the house but hopefully I've found my guineas. Please reply. I'll make it worth your while as I'm just sitting here on a pile of money.