Wednesday, July 3, 2013

When Things Go Wrong

You push open the door to the men's restroom and you're greeted with the smell of urine.  You step inside and it's damp.  For many years I was under the impression that public restrooms were generally unfit places for human beings without head to toe protective clothing.  Eventually I found out it is not all public restrooms.  It is the men's.  Why?  Because most of us had women cleaning up after us for the first 18 years of life.  And, we have special needs!  Even after years of practice, we can't always pee in a straight line.  Yeah, we practiced hitting our mothers in the face for a few months early on.  But every so often, there we go and pee off to the left or the right.  The worst is when we get the two directional or God forbid, the three directional pee.  I think it's nature's way of reminding us that things can go awry.  Sometimes terribly so.  It doesn't matter how much experience we have or how confident we are in our ability, sometimes things go wrong.

There is a lesson and it is this -  be prepared.  Yeah I used the Boy Scout's motto.  It's okay, they can sue me and lots of luck with that.  The trouble with being prepared is it often makes us feel like wimps.  Like sitting on the toilet to pee.  Dammit, we are men after all and we don't squat to pee.

So being prepared is not always a solution we can live with.  But having to tolerate a stinky toilet is not fun time either.  Neither is coming into work and having to deal with a problem someone else made.  So guys if you can't live with being prepared and avoiding a problem, be a man a fix the damage.


The Crow said...

Bravo! Bravo!

Women of the world will lift you up and carry you overhead to your throne for writing what we've been trying, less bluntly, to get across to the men in our lives for centuries!

Thank you, David.

David Oliver said...

WOW! Martha I had no idea.
It was only after I married that my wife told me ladies' restrooms are usually clean. We would stop somewhere to use the restroom and I would complain about the condition of it. She would say her's was clean. After awhile it kind of dawned on me what was going on.

Should Fish More said...

My aunt Jessie once yelled from the bathroom "Ding, put the damn seat down next time!" We were in the living room, uncle Ding yelled back "Hell Jessie, sometimes I don't even put it up!"

I come from a long line of Oregon Rednecks.

Your point is a good one, and service station attendants everywhere would agree.

Andrew Leon said...

Men were made to pee in the woods.
And, yeah, cleaning up after someone else, whatever the mess, is no fun.

David Oliver said...

Andrew, that is a fact and I'm glad you've stated it here for the record. :)

I can't prove it but I suspect the guy who pees on the floor and leaves it is also the guy left greasy tools at the tool room window, slag on his weld and bugs in the computer program.

David Oliver said...

I guess the seat up, seat down controversy rages on and I'll stay silent on that except to say when in Rome I'll do as the Romans do. My Ex did once "fall in the toilet" and was furious when I laughed. I'm still seeking redemption on that one.

Mike, your Uncle Ding sounds great!

troutbirder said...

Ouch! This touches too close to home. Point well taken though.

David Oliver said...

Seems often enough we are negligent about something we should do or have done and it is not we don't care but simply we don't think about it. It has been plenty of times and I expect will happen again in the future, someone will point out something to me and say I need to change my ways. said...

You tell 'em, David! Thank you. I used a men's bathroom once, just last week. I couldn't wait. I really tried. I did the potty dance, walked back and forth, waiting for the woman to finish while staring at an empty, clean men's bathroom with a normal (ladylike) toilet. Then I went for it. It wasn't bad. Nobody saw me, unless there were little hidden camera that I didn't notice. Anyway, it was so clean, I couldn't possibly have been the first woman to use it.

Be well, David.

David Oliver said...

Thanks Robyn.
Also thanks for using our restroom and if you find out what lady used it before, please thank her as well. :)

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